Hi I'm Jess, I don't wear Jeans.

Not wearing jeans has turned over the past few years, from a casual preference, to a rule to be obeyed at any costs. Don't get me wrong here though, its not that I don't want to wear Jeans, I just can't. Okay, go all sarcastic and witty on me why don't you, yes I know I'm wearing jeans above, which proves I physically can wear jeans, but my dear friends, its on an emotional turmoil level that I simply cannot bear them.

I fear we must back track and delve into the precious territory of my previous contact with jeans. I didn't become an owner of a pair of jeans till around age 10. And again, it was not that I didn't want to, believe me you'd be able to tell for the tears cried and the envious looks at everyone elses denim wonders during primary school non uniform days. (genes for jeans day was and still is the worst.) The reason was pretty simple, and although I've spent the past ten minutes or so trying to come up with a less offensive term to myself, I've basically always been a little fatty. I prefer that then being called either "chubby" or the worst, "cuddly" over the years...you might as well just say I'm fat and get on with it, but anywayyy...I was basically born with bigger hips then the whole team of Olympics gymnasts put together and therefore attempting to fit myself into a pair of jeans was really not by cup of tea (or full fat coke ;))

Then came Tammy's jeans, and a surprise, they fitted!  Though like a pack of non diet pringles, once you pop, you can't stop. A lethal combination of an emo phase and a new found ability to fit into denim came jeans, and jeans, and just more jeans. 8 pairs of black skinnies, and a pair in each of the following; normal blue, electric blue, hot pink, purple and green. I just couldn't help myself.  So I hope its clear to see one reason for this emotional turmoil involving jeans is the repeat button. Its like when 'Someone Like You' by Adele was played constantly on every radio station, all of the time. You just get sick of it, it becomes standard, it becomes boring. (Though I will always adore Adele and that song) but Jeans just became my standard item, and if you haven't noticed, I'm a person bored unbelievably easy. I like change, and I like things to always be evolving, so sticking your legs into denim, day in day out, can be mind numbing and boring.

But the second, and more important reason for my emotional turmoil is because after years of pretending, I know that they just don't suit me. I admittedly own a high waisted navy pair that I wear to death, but normal standard jeans just aren't me. And although I still all to often kid myself while entering changing rooms that I've found the magic pair, its safe to say I probably never will. And really, Its quite horrible to realise something you want, is something you will never have, no matter how hard you try.  Its like all of my proportions are in direct opposition with my heart and head and scream,  "No Jess, you can't wear jeans, the whole of the population can look good in them, but nott youuu." and so every time I put a pair on, its a real confidence defeater. I guess I'll just one day have to accept that being different is not always fun. For as much as I stand out in colour, sometimes, on my shy days I would like to blend into the world in a pair of jeans.

So next time you ask why I don't wear Jeans, remember its not so much as a choice, but as a decision weaved by many experiences over the years. Primary school playgrounds and too much eyeliner have formed  a realisation that its fun to be different when you can, but its not so fun when you have no choice. I'm Jess, I don't wear jeans. and its because they make me sad.

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